so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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