so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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