Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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