My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
