You really coming over, don't trick.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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