I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
