hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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