that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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