i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
