I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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