She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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