So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
