dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
