When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
