Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i will never coherently bang her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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