lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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