1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
