You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize