I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize