I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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