You made me cry and you don't even care
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
