Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
