Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
