you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
