why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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