I hope mine doesn't look like that
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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