Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
