The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize