so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
