Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize