he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
