Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
