I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
