Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
