I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize