Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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