My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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