what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
