think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
