I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Oh god it's open bar.
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