Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I believe in your delicious
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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