Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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