i think my mom watched the whole time
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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