I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
