I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize