I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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