No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
