We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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