His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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