It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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