Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
