Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
