She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
