He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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