i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
