That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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