I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
