And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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