What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
