did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
