how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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