I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
