that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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