So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
