Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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