piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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