You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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